I recently came across a letter I wrote many years ago.. Its crazy the things we think of at a young age.. but looking back, this letter sums me up perfectly… I probably should have showed this to my husband before he signed up for life loool.. but he is a gem and knows all of me..
Dear Future Husband
You need to understand that I’m not the easiest person to deal with. Somedays I am downright miserable and will make your life hell. There will be days when you will wonder why you promised to love and keep me till death do us part.
I dont know why I am the way I am, its something im working out with God.
I will tell you a bit more about myself.
I am organised when I need to be and I organise well. I live by a plan and seek for things to be in accordance with that plan, the majority of the time. I accept that sometimes things will hop out of sync, I dont like this and these are the times I will probably be at my worse. These are the times you will need to encourage me and try and help me to keep the faith, it wont be easy, I may break you down, just know its not intentional.
More about me, im a control freak. I like to have a degree of control over most things and be aware of things, especially things to do with myself. I dont like surprises and I dont like conflict, thats not to say that we wont be in conflict from time to time. Its all love.
First and foremost, I want a man that loves and has a relationship with God. I dont necessarily mean in church every Sunday, but understands the importance of God in my life and in a marriage.
I want to be able to trust you with my everything. I’ve been cheated on and that hurts and I never want to feel like that again. I want to be comforted and I want to feel secure and safe. I just want to be loved.
I’ve always hoped for a marriage where there is equal contribution, I dont think I’ll be a traditional bride, dinner will not be on the table every day, the house wont be spotless everyday unless we both take part in that. Saying that, I dont like mess and so the house will be spotless everyday, however this is not to say you shouldn’t share in the responsibility of the housework. Its our house not my house. I dont like picking up after people, unless its a child. I dont want you to just expect that I will do things, I want you to be able to see that some thing needs to be done and just do it. I wouldnt mind if you cooked dinner now and again.
I liked to be wined and dined, who doesn’t. We should always try to keep things fresh, date nights are essential. Even though i dont like surprises, i do like a little bit of mystery and so it would always be nice to go to a place of your choice that you think we would enjoy. Or even a candle lit meal at home would be nice. I know im a tough faced girl, but I do like a bit of romance. I want to feel like a woman, i want to feel appreciated. I always say i dont like flowers, but I wouldnt turn them away if you did buy me some. I guess maybe the reason I dont like them is because no one has ever brought me any.
I love chocolate and definetly eat too much of it. I also love watermelon and cant get enough. Maybe if you get both of them it will balance everything out and I won’t feel so bad about eating all the chocolate.
I have always wanted a gentleman, someone who opens doors and makes me feel special and wanted as opposed to obligated. Maybe I do have a few old fashioned traits but hey I’m a phenomenal woman and should be treated phenomanally.
I want you to make me feel special and appreciated. Im not a massive fan of PDA but as long as you claim me publically, is all I ask.
I want fun times, crazy times, life is too short to be serious all the time. Lets fart together, burp together just laugh together. I love to laugh.
I cant guarentee that were going to have heated passionate sex everyday, thats just not realistic. I cant even guarentee once a week, I guess it just depends on what my body is feeling, but please dont make me feel bad about this. I think the way my body feels is down to how you treat me. Our everyday encounters serve as foreplay, so bare that in mind. I will do my best to meet your requirements and perform my wifely duties.
One day I want to be a mother to our children, however I do not wish to be a mother to you. That is not my role, I will not pick up ur dirty boxers that u left on the bathroom floor, I will not clean out the bath after you have used it, I will not handle all your personal affairs. I expect you as a grown man to take charge and take responsibility, treat me like your wife, love me like your wife and be my husband .
Theres more, I want to go away as often as possible. I want to explore the world together, even small local holidays will be great. Whatever we do as long as we do it together.
Communication is so important, if were away from each other we dont have to speak every day, Im not a big talker, however as long as you acknowledge me at some point throughout the day, whether it be a message, picture or any gesture. I will ensure to do the same.
Women require a lot from a man unfortunately, but my future husband will be able to meet my requirements and more.
There is so much more im sure, but I wont over do it.
Let me tell you what I can offer you. I can offer you endless love and security. I feel strongly about the sanctity of marriage and can promise you that I will never stray. I would require the same of you. I am trustworthy and reliable (sounds like my CV), but I will be all you expect a modern day wife to be.
I am spontaneous, I will surprise you with gifts, just because. I will plan days out, surpise meals. I will surprise you with sexy lingerie and and a beautiful night of passion. I will be an excellent daughter in law, always respecting your parents and your family. Family is of the upmost importance to me and I would expect our families to be close.
Our house will be clean, your body well nourished, your children well taken care of.
I will always support you in your ventures, whatever you decide to do. I will always encourage you and do my best to help you achieve your goals and dreams. I desire ambition and as long as you continue to be ambitious in your goals, I will continue to ease you on your journey.
I am willing to sacrifice and compromise where necessary. I will be the wife that you desire and the wife that you need.
I hope to be a good wife to a good husband.
So whoever you may be, this is me. Your probably thinking she is too demanding and expects to much. Damn right and clearly you are not the one for me.
I know your out there somewhere and I will be here waiting for the moment we meet and begin our lives together for eternity.
Lots of Love
Your future wife